i started my new job on monday.

it's going alright i think. it's not that hard or anything, just something i need to get used to. i'm working first shift, which starts at 6am. my sleep schedule used to be the exact opposite of that, and i still need to have that sleep schedule over the weekend to doordash until my first paycheck, so it's been a struggle to adjust. i'm super exhausted.

as if starting a new and very physical job that i need to wake up stupid early for wasn't enough, my ex reached out to me for the first time in almost two years to apologize. i don't really know what to make of it. nobody does. but i've been super busy and focusing on pretty much anything else since it happened.

hopefully i can get through the rest of the month unscathed. pray for me lmao.

today was the first snow storm of the season :]

i spent over an hour shoveling... shoveling snow is a tradeoff i'm willing to make to experience my favorite season to the fullest, though. snow is so beautiful, i could never live somewhere without a true winter.

thanksgiving with my family was really nice. my oldest sister made a pumpkin pie with cheesecake swirl, and it was soooo good. the turkey turned out good, too! thank god TT

this weekend i've just been waiting for my start date at work. i'm hoping i get a response tomorrow morning, since they should finally be back from the long holiday weekend. it'll be a struggle to adjust my sleep schedule since it'll basically be the opposite of my current one, but i hope they let me start immediately. fingers crossed!

i've been writing every day for about a week now, and i finished a diary for the first time in years. i have so many old ones in storage, i can't wait to add this one to my collection and start a fresh diary. it's fitting, since i feel like i'm moving on to a new chapter.

aside from that, i made chocolate cream pies for thanksgiving tomorrow! it's a family tradition, and i've been the pie maker for a few years now. i did kinda bomb the crust this time, it's super ugly TT. they'll be gone by the end of the night regardless though, it's not too big of a deal.

apparently i'm doing the turkey too, but nobody told me til today. i've never done it before, i have no clue what i'm doing. it'll probably be fine but i'm stressed. TT

i had an interview earlier this morning at a warehouse, and i got the job!

it's full time, monday thru friday, with benefits, holidays off, PTO, and 401k matching. this is a way better job than i ever imagined i'd get, especially after spending so much time applying to shitty jobs and never even hearing back from them. i got sooo lucky. thank god.

it's an immense weight off of my shoulders, one that's been dragging me down in so many different ways for such a long time. now i can focus on other goals, like moving and going to school :]

the first snow of the year happened yesterday, and it’s still coming down as i write this. it’s barely sticking to the trees and grass, so it’ll probably melt by tomorrow. i can’t wait for it to snow more, though. i love winter.

i’m still looking for a new job, the market is hell. nobody’s even rejecting me, let alone hiring me. wish me luck please TT

even though i’ve been busy working and applying to jobs, i’ve been making time to read and write more. i used to all the time, but after i shattered into a million pieces in 2021, and again in 2024, i lost myself. i’m slowly coming back, and it’s really nice.

BEST MAN

in late september, one of my childhood friends was having really scary health issues. they’re engaged to another childhood friend of mine, and i don’t see or talk to either of them that often because we’re all pretty busy. but because of his fiance’s health problems, we carved out some time to catch up at a gas station. we talked for hours, but right before we were both about to leave, he asked me to be his best man!!

i almost cried, honestly. i’m so honored that he feels that close to me and that he can trust me with this role in his wedding.

TRIP WITH ANDY

the details are for him and i, but it was a peaceful week out in the middle of nowhere. i had fun, and i think he did too. we were only a couple feet away from a bunch of deer at one point, which is a first, even for me. the sunrises and sunsets were beautiful, too.

i can't lie, i miss him a lot. his presence is like a river sparkling with sunlight. hopefully i'll see him again sooner than later.

DAD APPROVED FOR HISTOTRIPSY

my dad was approved medically for histotripsy, but my parents' insurance provider kept denying coverage for it. my mom fought with them for months over it, as it would be more effective and less taxing on my dad, as well as cheaper for everyone involved (what the insurance company cares about the most).

well, the insurance company changed their coverage policy a few weeks ago, which now includes histotripsy! my dad is now officially approved for histotripsy, and he’s on the transplant list!

i had an amazing week with andy :)

you can check out [some photos i took on our trip together] if you'd like. i have a few to get off of my digicam still, so those will be coming eventually.

a lot has happened in the past month, so i'll write a more comprehensive update soon. most of it's good though!

a lot has happened in the past few weeks.

mainly, i've been really busy working. i'm trying to save up to make sure that i can afford andy's visit in october because rentals are soooo expensive </3

i also went to a pre-release breach listening party two weeks ago at my fav record store! it was so fun, and they said it was their biggest turnout ever. it makes me a little sad i wasn't able to go to deftones's listening party a few weeks earlier, especially since it seems like private music is gonna be their last album. but oh well, at least i went to the breach one.

i got a poster and a bracelet for free which was super cool. i didn't get breach when i was there though, i really dislike vinyl records and i need to listen to the album more to see if it's something i want in my collection. but i did get the smashing pumpkins's mellon collie and the infinite sadness secondhand for $3! it was such a good find, i'm so happy i got it.

my dad has had a lot of appointments too. he's been getting so many tests done and meeting with his doctors to prepare for histotripsy and his future transplant. his veins are scarred from all the ivs and blood draws he's gotten over the past 6 months, so they used this red light on him to find a good one. imo it looks sick as fuck.

i had dinner with my family tonight, and then we went to the park. it was nice to see my sister and her kids! i don't get to see them that much now that i live a little far.

my sister brought me a surprise loaf of zucchini bread!! i love her zucchini bread sooo much. she makes it every summer, but i didn't expect to get any this year because most of her zucchini crops got destroyed :( i'm so happy she made me some.

my niece got so scared by a carnival ride that the ride operator had to stop the ride TT. i was worried about her but it was also kinda embarrasing LOL. we had a good time after that, though.

my dad got approved for histotripsy today!!!

he has to keep doing chemo and immuno until sometime next year, but soon he'll have a way less painful treatment plan.

i was at the hospital for 7 hours today. my dad had surgery to get a kidney stone removed, but there were complications, so now he's being observed overnight.

i took home three decade-old nat geo magazines, though. they're pretty cool, i'll post pics of them later.